“If you are asked why you favour a particular public-house, it would seem natural to put the beer first, but the thing that most appeals to me about the Moon Under Water is what people call its ‘atmosphere’.” George Orwell

I have a theory. Like all theories it is not absolute. Any theory which demands the world adhere to its strictures 100% is not a theory worth taking seriously. The exceptions are very much the proof to the rule. You can tell here that I am an arts guy.

There are a range of different type of pub in Britain. Should one take the time to sample a range of them one will get a feel for the type they like. Turquoise bare boarded gastro pub, town centre high street chain pub, bric-a-brac museum curio pub, flag stone and bash your head beam country pub, beer specialist tap badge splatter pub, merry old England interwar pub, mahogany set in Victorian aspic pub, and the carpeted don’t look outside and it is 1982 pub. I have a particular penchant for the last type. I want to curse Thatcher and read headlines about the Falklands. I want to sit and drink in a place that feels like my childhood. Freud would no doubt have something to say.

Anyway, on with the theory. Pub carpets are an indicator of a pub that takes care of itself. Keeping a carpet clean and only lightly scented in a room where grog is carried, jostled , slurped and spilt is a sign that the publican is willing to put the work in to keep the space comfortable for the patrons. Pub carpets are by no means an ancient fixture in pubs but for recent history they have made salon bars more comfortable and convivial and when a carpet is ripped out it is a sign that utilitarian clean down has triumphed over customer comfort.

Invariably, although as I say above exceptions will exist, if a pub maintains a carpet they also maintain a functional bog and a clean set of beer lines. If they are willing to shampoo and wet vac regularly then they are also likely to keep the crisps topped up and toilet paper in the dispenser. So that is my theory. Pub carpets are good. Always a tick from me.