“In too much of the West, everyone wants the guarantee of safety, and never having to make any decisions.” Anthony Bourdain

On the fence of the hospital in Chiang Mai a huge sign proclaims or urges the sentiment “SAFETY FIRST!”. For better or worse it is a vain plea. The city operates in a faster freer lane than the west and with that comes obvious risks that perhaps we manage to hide from and soften in our day to day lives. I am told it is a slow paced, civil, sober sort of city by Southeast Asian standards but there was still plenty of risk on show to us. People standing on fast moving open bed trucks, people riding on the outside of red truck cabs, the man welding bike parts on the foot path in old town with no eye protection, the traffic that takes signal lights as a vague suggestion and just keeps flowing till the other side of the intersection manages to force a beach head … you get the idea.

Having my brother in the room next to me I forced myself to sleep in knowing my usual 3am stirring would disrupt him. As the golden sun forced its way around curtains I slipped from bed and went out onto the deck to make coffee for myself and mum. Once everyone had woken and mum and I had taken enough caffeine we went down to the restaurant to have breakfast. I kept with the Thai food and wasn’t disappointed.

Upon returning to our rooms I popped into mum’s toilet as my brother was showering and made an unfortunate discovery. In Thailand one uses a hose to wash one’s arse then uses toilet paper to dry up and one pops it in a little waste bin by the toilet. Our rooms were adorned with decorative woven baskets that hung from wood pegs driven into the wall. Unfortunately, the decoration extended to the toilet and some former guest had mistaken the basket for the sanitary bin and it was full to the brim with dried poo smeared paper. House keeping had all been short Thai ladies who couldn’t see over the lip of the basket and so had missed it. I set about transferring the errant wastepaper into the correct bin and scrubbed my hands clean enthusiastically. The dangers of thoughtless and unsafe interior design can’t be underestimated.

Mum and Robbie went off for a swim while I did some writing and took another luxurious bath. Afterwards we went to the tea terrace and had lunch. While everyone else opted for burgers I stuck to the Thai food and ordered a dish of stir-fried beef mince with chili , steamed rice and an egg. It was delicious and the waitress hustled back to warn me that the chili dressing in a ramekin was “very hot”, it wasn’t but it was lovely. As I ate my meal, I saw what looked like a clove in the stir fry, so I extracted it with my fingers to find it was a small nail or tack. Safety First.

We just had enough time after lunch to change for the wedding and form up on the banks of the river Ping for the ceremony and then it was into the restaurant for the reception. As the after drinks got going mum and I carefully retired to bed, considering every step , following the mantra of safety first.